Beware the yawn factor - Emphasis

Beware the yawn factor Beware the yawn factor Beware the yawn factor when selling your organisation in writing. Attention spans are short and lots of clichd customer-service terminology wont do you any favours. Take this example from the Olympus website: Under the umbrella of Olympus Europa we in the U.K give the best possible support to our customers by providing: A wide range of value added solutions to meet customer demands Flexible working approach to achieve time sensitive order requirements A Supply Chain working closely with both O.E. and the market place providing the vital link between sales and production, monitoring stock movement and demand v forecast ensuring optimum stock levels are maintained A 24 hour delivery service to all of our customers Customer service makes our company Olympus UK Ltd what it is today a very successful, caring organisation run by special people that make a positive difference. The UK Distribution Centre, based in West London, supports this concept wholeheartedly. Therefore an in-depth understanding of the UK market place has built up enabling us to act and react to our customers [sic] needs. Our role is supportive to OEDC (Olympus European Distribution Centre) enhancing performance to provide the best service whilst maintaining an acceptable level of cost. Communication is of paramount importance in establishing this understanding thereby developing an extremely healthy working relationship, providing a platform for success. Wordy bullets Using bullet points works well. They are easy to read and make text stand out. The problem here is that most are wordy and cumbersome. The first one talks about value added solutions. As opposed to what? A value diminished solution? Value added is meaningless corporate speak. It means nothing to the customer. The second one refers to time sensitive requirements. Surely 99 per cent of orders are time sensitive? How often do customers place an order without caring when they receive it? And the third one explains how the supply chain works. But customers wont care about the logistics of how Olympus maintains its stock levels. They just need to know that stock will be available when they need it. Also, the introductory sentence about the Olympus Europa umbrella is pointless here. As far as customers are concerned, there is only one Olympus. So, we could simplify this paragraph to read: At Olympus in the UK, we support our customers by: offering a wide range of solutions for your needs responding to your orders promptly maintaining optimum stock levels at all times guaranteeing a 24-hour delivery service. Cut the clichs Now look back at that second paragraph. It goes on a bit, doesnt it? Cutting back on the clichd and redundant phrases like support this concept wholeheartedly and is of paramount importance would simplify the message, making it easier to read and understand. There are a couple of other issues to address too. Special people is ambiguous, as is an acceptable cost. And enabling us to act and react to our customers needs is grammatically wrong. (It should be enabling us to act on and react to our customers needs.) This paragraph is basically trying to explain, using far too many words, that Olympus UK offers a speedy and efficient service to its customers at a reasonable price. Instead, it could say: Our customer service is at the heart of our success. Olympus UK is run by people who care and want to make a difference. Based at our UK Distribution Centre in west London, they have an in-depth understanding of the UK market. This enables us to respond to and anticipate our customers needs. We believe that good communication is vital to establishing good relationships with our customers. And our ultimate aim is to offer them a speedy and efficient service at a reasonable cost. Find out more about our courses in better writing

Biography of Richard Aoki, Asian-American Black Panther

Biography of Richard Aoki, Asian-American Black Panther Richard Aoki was a field marshal in the Black Panther Party, the less well known colleague of Bobby Seale. Eldridge Cleaver. Huey Newton. These names often come to mind when the Black Panther Party is the topic at hand. But after his death at the age of 70 in 2009, there has been a renewed effort to familiarize the public with this Panther who’s not as well known. Fast Facts: Richard Aoki Known For: Civil rights activist, founder of the Asian American Political Alliance and field marshal of the Black PanthersBorn: November 20, 1938, in San Leandro, CaliforniaParents: Shozo Aoki and Toshiko KaniyeDied: March 15, 2009, BerkeleyEducation: Merritt Community College (1964–1966) Sociology BS, University of California at Berkeley (1966–1968) MS Social WelfareSpouse(s): noneChildren: none Early Life Richard Masato  Aoki was born Nov. 20, 1938, in San Leandro, California, the eldest of two sons born to Shozo Aoki and Toshiko Kaniye. His grandparents were Issei, first-generation Japanese Americans, and his parents were Nisei, second-generation Japanese Americans. Richard spent the first few years of his life in Berkeley, but his life underwent a major shift after World War II. When the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor in December 1941, xenophobia against Japanese Americans reached unparalleled heights in the U.S. The Issei and Nisei were not only held responsible for the attack but also generally regarded as enemies of the state still loyal to Japan. As a result, President Franklin Roosevelt signed Executive Order 9066 in 1942. The order mandated that individuals of Japanese origin be rounded up and placed in internment camps. The four-year old Aoki and his family were evacuated first to the Tanforan Assembly Center in San Bruno, and then to a concentration camp in Topaz, Utah, where they lived without indoor plumbing or heating. â€Å"Our civil liberties were grossly violated,† Aoki told the Apex Express radio show of being relocated. â€Å"We were not criminals. We were not prisoners of war.† During the politically tumultuous 1960s and ’70s, Aoki developed a militant ideology directly in response to being forced into an internment camp for no reason other than his racial ancestry. Life After Topaz After his discharge from the Topaz internment camp, Aoki settled with his father, brother and extended family in West Oakland, a diverse neighborhood that many African Americans called home. Growing up in that part of town, Aoki encountered blacks from the South who told him about lynchings and other acts of severe bigotry. He connected the treatment of blacks in the South to incidents of police brutality he’d witnessed in Oakland. â€Å"I began putting two and two together and saw that people of color in this country really get unequal treatment and aren’t presented with many opportunities for gainful employment,† he said. After high school, Aoki enlisted in the U.S. Army, where he served for eight years. As the war in Vietnam began to escalate, however, Aoki decided against a military career because he didn’t fully support the conflict and wanted no part in the killing of Vietnamese civilians. When he returned to Oakland following his honorable discharge from the army, Aoki enrolled in Merritt Community College, where he discussed civil rights and radicalism with future Panthers, Bobby Seale and Huey Newton. Black Panther Party Aoki read the writings of Marx, Engels and Lenin, standard reading for radicals in the 1960s. But he wanted to be more than just well read. He also wanted to effect social change. That opportunity came along when Seale and Newton invited him to read over the Ten-Point Program that would form the foundation of the Black Panther Party. After the list was finalized, Newton and Seale asked Aoki to join the newly formed Black Panthers. Aoki accepted after Newton explained that being African-American wasn’t a prerequisite to joining the group. He recalled Newton saying: â€Å"The struggle for freedom, justice and equality transcends racial and ethnic barriers. As far as I’m concerned, you black.† Aoki served as a field marshal in the group, putting his experience in the military to use to help members defend the community. Soon after Aoki became a Panther, he, Seale and Newton took to the streets of Oakland to pass out the Ten-Point Program. They asked residents to tell them their top community concern. Police brutality emerged as the No. 1 issue. Accordingly, the BPP launched what they called â€Å"shotgun patrols,† which entailed following the police as they patrolled the neighborhood and observing as they made arrests. â€Å"We had cameras and tape recorders to chronicle what was going on,† Aoki said. Asian American Political Alliance But the BPP wasn’t the only group Aoki joined. After transferring from Merritt College to UC Berkeley in 1966, Aoki played a key role in the Asian American Political Alliance. The organization supported the Black Panthers and opposed the war in Vietnam. Aoki â€Å"gave a very important dimension to the Asian-American movement in terms of linking the struggles of the African-American community with the Asian-American community,† friend Harvey Dong told the Contra Costa Times. In addition, the AAPA participated in local labor struggles on behalf of groups such as the Filipino Americans who worked in the agricultural fields. The group also reached out to other radical student groups on campus, including those that were Latino- and Native American-based such as MEChA (Movimiento Estudiantil Chicano de Aztln), the Brown Berets and the Native American Student Association. Third World Liberation Front Strike The disparate resistance groups eventually united in the collective organization known as the Third World Council. The council wanted to create a Third World College, â€Å"an autonomous academic component of (UC Berkeley), whereby we could have classes that were relevant to our communities,† Aoki said, â€Å"whereby we could hire our own faculty, determine our own curriculum. In winter of 1969, the council started the Third World Liberation Front Strike, which lasted an entire academic quarter- three months. Aoki estimated that 147 strikers were arrested. He himself spent time at the Berkeley City Jail for protesting. The strike ended when UC Berkeley agreed to create an ethnic studies department. Aoki, who had recently completed enough graduate courses in social work to obtain a master’s degree, was among the first to teach ethnic studies courses at Berkeley. Teacher, Counselor, Adminstrator In 1971, Aoki returned to Merritt College, a part of the Peralta Community College district, to teach. For 25 years, he served as a counselor, instructor and administrator in the Peralta district. His activity in the Black Panther Party waned as members were imprisoned, assassinated, forced into exile or expelled from the group. By the end of the 1970s, the party met its demise due to successful attempts by the FBI and other government agencies to neutralize revolutionary groups in the United States. Although the Black Panther Party fell apart, Aoki remained politically active. When budget cuts at UC Berkeley placed the future of the ethnic studies department in jeopardy in 1999, Aoki returned to campus 30 years after he participated in the original strike to support student demonstrators who demanded that the program continue. Death Inspired by his lifelong activism, two students named Ben Wang and Mike Cheng decided to make a documentary about the onetime Panther titled â€Å"Aoki.† It debuted in 2009. Before his death on March 15 of that year, Aoki saw a rough cut of the film. Sadly, after suffering several health problems, including a stroke, a heart attack and failing kidneys, Aoki died on March 15, 2009. He was 70. Following his tragic death, fellow Panther Bobby Seale remembered Aoki fondly. Seale told the Contra Costa Times, Aoki â€Å"was one consistent, principled person, who stood up and understood the international necessity for human and community unity in opposition to oppressors and exploiters.† Legacy What distinguished Aoki from others in the black radical group? He was the only founding member of Asian descent. A third-generation Japanese-American from the San Francisco Bay area, Aoki not only played a fundamental role in the Panthers, he also helped to establish an ethnic studies program at the University of California, Berkeley. The late Aoki’s biography based on interviews with Diane C. Fujino reveals a man who counteracted the passive Asian stereotype and embraced radicalism to make long-lasting contributions to both the African- and Asian-American communities. Sources Chang, Momo. Former Black Panther leaves legacy of activism and Third World solidarity. East Bay Times, March 19, 2009.  Dong, Harvey. Richard Aoki (1938–2008): Toughest Oriental to Come out of West Oakland. Amerasia Journal 35.2 (2009): 223–32. Print.Fujino, Diane C. Samurai Among Panthers: Richard Aoki on Race, Resistance, and a Paradoxical Life. Minneapolis, University of Minnesota Press, 2012.